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happy birthday,

11:09 pm - Thursday, February 19

dear apu

i miss you so much. especially now. i know i've been a bad sister who tells you nothing, and lies about everything you ask. but recently i've decided i'd change that, which is why you've got the sudden steady flow of confessions and regrets. and i realise now, that even though i'm always going to be ten years younger than you, and i always have been, you've told me everything about you since forever.

i realised that even if i didn't realise it, i was the one you came to when you were down. and now, i need that kind of person for me, and i've had you, my whole life and i never talked to you. and now i need to, i really need to and you choose the perfect time to be thousands and thousands and thousands of kilometres away. and you're voice doesn't sound like you when we talk on the phone, and the image is fuzzy on skype and i can't hug you anymore.

seriously, you have no idea, i love you so much and you're the only person who i've always always always had that i still feel like i trust and respect. oh my, i feel like crying now. it's been more than a year since you left here and i didn't take full advantage of the three weeks i had with you in between. you're the only family i have.

i miss your tea parties, i miss your preciceness, i miss your hugs, your talks, your moments where you get really really mad at me, your sarcastic comments about my fat, i miss shopping with you, going to the beach with you, running with you, watching scrubs with you, making cakes with you, just generally every single thing you do. i miss not being able to sleep at night because you watch your tv too loud at night, i miss having to compete for hot water when we're in the two different showers at the same time, i miss your name calling, miss you trying to make me look like an actually decent looking person, i miss your encouragement and i really need some.

come back to sydney please, even just to visit. visit some more and more and more and more. and another thing is, how much you've changed the last time i saw you. and in a most excellent way. and also, i promise i don't mind at all when you boss me around, it's my duty as a slave, to do that kind of thing. i'd rather have to do everything for you than have you be that far awaaaaay. even thought you'll never ever read this,
happy twenty fourth birthday you old hag. (:
i love you.
i miss you.

- stinky.

victorchewy