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LifeAvoidance* Syndrome Initial Theory Paper

9:12 pm - Monday, June 15

There are many disease and condition that many of us may contract during our lifetimes. These include diabetes, chickenpox, cancer, the flu, heart disease. But the worst of these diseases is yet to be widely recognised by the public. This disease seems to have effected the majority of teenagers nowadays and is increasingly becoming something that we should all be very aware of. It is LifeAvoidance* Syndrome. You have probably already been infected.

There are two versions of this Syndrome. Here's some information on the syptoms;

Type One - LazedWhiners*.

People with this disease will sit at their computers, with their various chat screens open, furiously insisting to the conversation reciever that they are bored and have absolutely nothing to do other that repeatedly type the same set of words to half the people in their contact list (perhaps in an attempt to cure said boredness). The other person, often a person who is not bored, will bleakly reply something along the lines of "Watch TV" followed by the response "I can't be bothered." These people will usually, in reality, have quite a lot of things available to do. Most commonly, tasks like homework and assignments that will not be done till the night before or participating in family activities such as talking. Those effected by the disease and also have social lives that sadly do not extend to 10pm on a school night, can be found up until 12am nudging, IMing, emailing and stalking the few other beings left online. This often leads to such people being blocked and deleted and sunken deeper into the depths of the world of the social cripple.

Type two - The Motivationless*

This type of person has a simple problem: admitting that they are bored. These people have tricked their minds into believing that because there is a pixel box set infront of them, and the pixels are lit up, this must mean that they will remain entertained till the computer appliance is turned off. People suffering from this disease will never admit to themselves or others that they are bored. When there is a lack of conversation on msn and they've finished checking all their favourite sites for updates, finished watching the latest from their favourite youtube channel and finished downloading their latest batch of illicit music, the person will proceed to click through the web, attempting to find something of interest. They will often repeatedly go back to sites they've already checked such as blogger or deviantart, in the hope that in the last ten minutes, one of their friends will have posted something new that they can read or view in order to maintain their state of entertainment for a few more seconds, or minutes maybe. Like the LazyWhiners*, they wil also usually have other tasks to perform or attend to. The person with the ailment may end up posting numerous twitters, or comment on each photo in the entirety of a facebook photo album. Or write long boring blogs..

In severe cases:
Patient then proceeds to kick themselves mentally and note that they should probably get some sleep, as tomorrow is another day at 'The Second Best School In The State' (or whatever school applies). So they brush their teeth, get into their jimjams and whatnot and proceed to get some shuteye. But little do they know how powerful the low hum of the computer can be. Slowly, yet surely, they are drawn back into the computer seat and continue to clack awway at the keyboard for the next hour or so.

How to reduce the syptoms or even cure this disease;

The cure to this horrible disease is simply to develop a bit more will power. We are all capable of fighting off this ailment but we must first get off our lazy arses and re-discover the world outside of our pixel homes. This is a plea for all of you people who know very well that you are suffering from this disease to join with the both of us in attempt to fight this disease, we must not let it defeat us! So the next time you find yourself saying the 'b word' or mindlessly clicking through the net, get out of that seat and explore your home. Tie the loose ends between you and your family. We are all aware of how dettached we've gotten from our families at this ages, go and help out around the house, or just sit with members of your family and chat. Take up a hobby, or relive one that you slowly let go. We are up for some baking, nothing like baked goods on a week night. Making them at home is much cheaper than buying those overpriced ones from the canteen, no? Maybe you can sew, or paint, or make movies (short film fest soon, hmm. Maybe your ultimate hobby is sleeping. Don't you just adore sleeping early and feeling great and fresh when you wake up the next morning? Maybe even, and i know this sound riduculous, but what about get started on that assignment of yours that you've tucked away. It'll pay off not to be one of the ones working on it last minute as usual.

All we ask of you teenagers, is that you give it a fair go. Try to live a little less like drones.

Pass it on.

- Prof. Joanna J and Prof. Joyeeta C

* These names are very rough and we would appreciate anybody with a better name for any of the asterixed terms to come forth with their suggestions. You will be somehow rewarded maybe.

victorchewy